When Things Go To Hell....

They REALLY go to hell!

My (now-ex)girlfriend and I broke up last night. We realized over the past couple weeks that we were not working out with each other, and things came to a climax Saturday night. A lot of issues came up, and we were unable to work through them. Sunday, more issues came up, and once again, were not discussed. Finally, when she came home Monday early, early morning - after saying she'd be home Sunday night - it counted as the morning though - I attempted to discuss everything.

She'd already made up her mind, though. It was over to her. I'd been trying to deny to myself that that was what was probably going on, because, well, who wants a relationship to end like this? I can't say I was surprised, though - I knew it was coming, soon, because things just weren't working. I just hadn't expected it like this.

On another note, I probably won't have a cell phone soon. Joyous day.

As much as I knew it had been coming, it still hit hard, and I'm still in a bit of a funk. But I'm dealing. Fortunately, I'm spending the day with my sister and doing a few fun things. It helps. Went out to lunch with a group of tech kids from my high school, with whom my sister is close, and so I had a good long conversation about networking and Pokemon. Don't ask about the second. Turns out one of the kids that was with us is one of the school's networking techs, under my old mentor. Was good conversation.

For the past couple weeks, I've been talking with my parents about moving out, and planning it in my head - a tentative date for middle of January. My ex turned around last night and informed me that I needed to be out by the end of the month, as she was shutting down the lease. My other roommate - my best friend - has already been in the process of slowly moving out, so it was an... interesting night. I helped him move some of his gear back to his parent's apartment - at three in the morning- then we went driving for a while. We drove out to a pull off out a few miles from town, and shut down. Out there... You can see the stars. They are EVERYWHERE. And it's so beautiful.

It was exactly what I needed for the time. Afterwards, I was able to return back to the apartment and crash... Proceeded to get two and a half hours of sleep before getting up to spend time with my sister for today.

This morning was definitely a Monday though. No doubt.

Last week, I went up to the church and talked to our Pastor about the entire situation. He told me what I needed to know, and confirmed what I was thinking. It helped make things clear. The only other issue I have to deal with now is convincing my Dad that I'm going to church for the social and sound work, not the religion. Because I will never truly be religious, not a Christian. It's not in me. I am a Humanist, and a Unitarian to an extent. The people at the church are good people, people I like and who consider me an equal - and who appreciate me for my work behind the board. It's who I am, and it's what I can do to make things okay for myself.

Things are going to be in a lurch for a while. At least I know I have somewhere to go home to, no matter what. I will keep updating, somehow...

Until next time.

Peace.